Happy Mother’s day to each and every one of you – to mothers and mothers to be. Last year this time, I had lost all hope of ever being a mother and tried to stop obsessing about being a mother and paid tribute to the moms in my life. I felt terrific after the post and maybe just a small spark of hope. Today it is a reality, I am a MOM. I feel like shouting from a roof top that I am a mom too. There are no words to describe how I feel when Ashwin smiles at me when I walk into the room when he wakes up or when I hold him in my arms and repeatedly tell myself,” this is real, he is here and he calls you amma”

This is a very emotional post for me and I might go all over the place, so bear with me here.  There are women who can easily become moms and then folks like us who have tried everything possible, be it the most superstitious of customs to advanced medical help. We become moms by the grace of other moms who have generously allowed us that esteemed position.

Dear Ashwin’s  Birth mom,

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving the gift of mother hood. I know you could have chosen an easy route, but you stayed strong and went through the arduous process of finding a perfect home for the little being that kicked you and played somersaults in your belly for 9 months.  We watch him grow and see hints of your personality in him. You welcomed us and my parents in to your home and gave us our first baby shower gifts as you wondered if friends will have time to host a baby shower for us. You let me touch your tummy and then took us to hospital visits to hear our baby’s heart beat.  Life moments that we may never have experienced, we did through you.   You smiled and went through the pain of labor and yet gave us the pleasure to hold him first. You gave Rajesh the opportunity to cut the umbilical cord, which was a surreal moment for him. You waited till we cried and held him before you did and that moment will be etched in my memory for ever. You whispered sweet nothings to him before you left the hospital and I hear you talk to him with your eyes when you visit. The love you have for him can never be expressed in words.  I cry as I write this and relive the moments of Ashwin’s birth. When you tell us how happy you are that he is a happy baby means more to us and than anything.  We enjoy your visits and the ease with which we all hang out is just simply awesome!!! A true sense of peace went through my soul when I lay in the hammock holding Ashwin while you helped Rajesh help us spruce up our backyard. A feeling of gratitude, immense happiness and most importantly peace. Always know we love you and will have nothing but great things to say about you to our lil munchkin.  Thank you  for being you.

Love Shankari

Where should we start? When rice was showered on us while we were tying the knot and blessed to bring grand children to our parent’s lives? Or when I was about 12 years old and read a story on adoption and the only thing I wanted to do when I grow up was to adopt? We become mommies to our little cousins at our 3 day weddings when aunts would happily hand over the little ones to us the younger cousins who loved playing house house.

Questions started popping here and there about when we plan on having a child. While we can plan our lives, things take its own sweet time and the journey to parenthood taught us lessons that we may have never learned if the journey was a smooth one, for that we are grateful. It made us stronger a couple, and to respond as a team when inquisitive minds wanted answers. We realized that the only thing important to us was to be parents and it did not matter if it was biological or adopted. When we thought of adoption, just like anybody out there, we had various misconceptions that scared us away from it until we met our dear friend Ann. How we found Ann is a whole different story. Ann explained to us the whole concept on open adoption. A lot of our friends encouraged us to go to India, but our minds were set on adopting locally. Just the thought of a mother going through pregnancy  and planning on placing her child in a good home, means she cares, and is making a selfless decision in the best interest of her baby vs  a baby being left in the door steps of an orphanage.

We researched on various agencies, read more about open adoption and finally chose one agency. The paperwork takes a while, but the desire to be parents makes all that a piece of cake. The one challenge is to write a letter to prospective birth mom’s who will read our letter to know more about whom we are and our family. How do you toot your own horns on what great parents we will be and talk about lives, our family in 3-4 pages in addition to pictures of us with friends and family ?We were told that that they had consultants to do that as well. Really? Once the letter is done, finger printing and the whole nine yards , we are then in the “officially waiting stage”. This is the most trying time in our opinion. Everyone with the best of intention asks if we heard anything or how long it will take and we have no answers but to educate our friends and family the process. A birth mother when pregnant may either call our agency or read our letter on the agency website and then make a choice. She has the choice to contact myriads of agencies, read profiles before she makes up her mind- it is a family for life that she is choosing for her baby.  So while we wait, we begin to wonder if our letter is done well, why does no one like us and so on & so forth. The key at these times is for one of us to help the other snap out of it. It is very trying, and this is the time for one to start looking for ways to keep you occupied.  You do not want to shy away from asking friends and family for support.

When we got the call, we were filled with joy, hoping we will be the chosen one. We watched Ashwin being born and started feeding him, changing diapers and caring for him right away. The entire wait was so worth it. We found a beautiful family and a wonderful selfless mother & father who helped us begin our journey. Our family is complete, our life dream is fulfilled and we will now work on making Ashwin’s dreams come true. To all of you who showered us with positive thoughts during trying times, to those who emailed/called and sent care packages when we felt low, our heartfelt Thanks. Families’ being there for us is expected, but the love we have received from the blog world cannot be expressed.  Our next post is about the lovely baby shower to welcome Ashwin into our lives.

This is is 200th post and is very special…

When we are kids, we say I am the daughter of  so & so and when we grow up we hope our parents can say, I am this girl’s parent.  I choked a bit when I introduced my parents in my cooking class and it was the most surreal moment to watch them listen with pride when I gave the class. For the last three years, I have been telling Rajesh that I want my parents to see me give a class just one time. I was the black sheep, the trouble maker at home , so do you now see why I wanted them to witness this

It was great to see that the class was full and there was even a waiting list.  Guess my students were excited that amma & appa will be there in my class and my mom will demonstrate a few things.  When we walked in, one of my dear student turned friend Joy welcomed us and we got prepping. Slowly the whole class was there and the fun began. While I had to decide the menu a couple of months prior, I had mom write the recipes for this class. The menu was Potato curry, Garbanzo beans sundal, Pineapple in yogurt sauce, Cabbage in steamed lentils and paneer burji. The class was a blast, mom communicated with the students in her own way and they understood. Mom demonstrated how to grate coconut with the traditional Indian grater / food slicer (Aruvamanai in tamil) , she made buttermilk with a wood churner for the class and everyone wanted pictures with them. So much love and so much fun. I am writing this more for myself, to come back to this space to read this after many years and relive the moments

We talked briefly about the recipes and then the class started. Boy was I in for a surprise, mom started walking around helping in the class. She told them at what consistency the batter had to be taken off from the food processor and how the pineapple should be chopped and so on. Don’t ask me how she communicated, she did and the students understood. I wish I could have paused and savored those moments. Everyone was so nice to them, each student introduced themselves, told them that they have been to my class before and how they have waited to see the parents who raised me. That was a proud moment for them.

If any of my students are reading this, Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making this class extra special!!

We started blogging in 2006 and have always enjoyed your love and support. We have said Thank you, but this time we decided to take one extra step, with a gift that you can choose. We truly enjoy reading your comments on the website and on our facebook fan page.  If you are not already our friend on facebook, please follow this link here.  CSN very kindly offered to give away $60 worth gift certificate from any of their 200 sites to one person on this website. Looking to buy a sofa? Go check the myriad varieties they have to offer or maybe a kitchen tool that has been on your wish list, and think it is an extravagance? Now this may be your chance to win.

CSN stores has over 200 online stores where you can find everything from a sofa to a suitcase, cookware to cribs, and so much more. What do you have to do to enter to win?

Another gift is from us- true to the name of our website, we will mail to you an Indian spice box filled with spices ( US & Canada residents only)

• Click on “follow this blog” on the right ..
• Spread the word on Facebook & Twitter.
• Go check  CSN stores and leave a comment of what you would like as your gift if you win.

One winner will be chosen at random using the random number generator. The giveaway closes on May 18th @ 7 pm PST.  This is for now only for US & Canada residents only.

Thank you all for your love and support!

Update: We used random.org to select a winner and the lucky one is Akay . Please send me an email with your address for the spice box.  Your gift certificate will be emailed to you by CSN

Mami & my mom.

In the past 8 years or so, I have dreaded Mother’s day. I have almost always focused on why I am not a mother and with my mom also not being around close, to do something special is difficult. One of the years, my cute lil niece called to wish me on Mother’s day and I asked her why and she said I was like a mom to her for a year when she lived with us, it touched me lot. There are lot of women who have influenced my life, and I want to wish the few, very special moms in my life who have played a vital role of who I am today.

This year is very special, because my parents are here with us.

The special people in my life:

Mom-in-law:  When I see her and talk to her, all I can think of is her will power and how focused she is. She stood up to her dad and wanted to be a doctor and nothing else and he had to eventually give in. She was and is a pillar of strength.  She thinks everything you set your mind can be achieved and she is one fearless lady. After serving for many years and delivering several thousand babies, she retired in Chennai and at 70 pursued her interest in music. She went for music lessons, sang in concerts with her group and has not stopped living life to the fullest. I truly admire that quality. Happy Mother’s day Mami!

Anandhi, me & Anu

We were all meeting for Diwali and we all shopped individually in different towns and had bought almost identical clothes, what a lovely coincidence.

My sisters: My eldest  sister Anu raised me when I was a new born and my middle sis took over from her during the later part of my life. When the doc decided I was underweight ( I wish they say that now for me..Sigh! That is a different post), Anu, my oldest sister would diligently make omelets for me in a skillet that was designated just for eggs and my parents would not even enter the kitchen and the house had to be aired out. My aunt has told me that Anu even tried to feed me puliyodarai  rice when I was lying on her lap, thinking I was crying for the food she was eating when I was a baby.  When in college, she would custom order the most beautiful cotton sarees for me and some of hers would just disappear from her wardrobe when we went visiting and magically move to mine. She is one strong gal that meets challenges head on, has survived just any curve ball that life throws at her and is also a single mom. She does everything she can and more for her kids and her children have grown to be ‘those  kids’ that every parent wishes for.  Amidst all that is going on, she also built this website for me. If any one of you want to design your website, she is the person !

My middle sister, Anandhi is the quiet one addressing her challenges in a calm way. She was in charge of how I dressed, took me to the tailors to get me some girly clothes that I lacked, coz mom loved to dress me like the son she never had. She would give me haircuts and in later years take me to the salon and patiently tell them how she wanted my hair cut. When I was in college, Anandhi convinced my parents that I needed more exposure to the outside world, promised my dad that she will take good care of me and took her under her wings to start my first job that opened up a whole new world for me.  I almost followed her and her family to every town they moved. There are days I call her and speak for hours just to vent and she listens patiently and offers the best advice.

And the best for the last, my mom.  She has been mostly my friend and confidant and now it is my turn. As a child, she was forced to listen to my every story after school and about my squabbles with my friends. When I was a teenager, she knew about all my crushes and infatuations. I have watched her cook and learned from her patience and devotion to family. I am going to enjoy my time with my parents and will be posting recipes that my mom teaches me. I never had a chance to learn from her being the youngest and I am now going to make the best use of my time with her.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Moms out there!

Happy Tamil New Year to all of you!

Here is a visual treat of what we made this morning to celebrate this joyous day. Thai Red Jasmine rice simmered in milk with sugar, cardamom and saffron.  Cashew nuts and raisins sauteed in ghee and garnished. We will post the recipe tonight after we are back from work.

Feb 17th 2010 will be a special day for us. We became US citizens.  What has that to do with Oak cafe you might ask. Oak cafe is a part of the culinary school at American River College in Carmichael and they offer a fine dining full service restaurant with a prix fix menu featuring dishes cooked by students at the culinary institute. Couple  months ago Teresa Urkofsky asked Shankari if she could come up with an Indian menu for the Oak cafe. Shankari prepared a list of dishes and Teresa put together a delectable choice of 6 items.  We would have never guessed that the day this menu was featured would be the day we were both sworn in  citizens. After getting getting sworn in along with 830 others and getting all the paperwork work we headed off to Oak Cafe in the ARC campus.

Congratulations says the maitre’d as she seated us, the word was out to all the waiters / waitresses knew that we were celebrating at Oak cafe right after the ceremony and they all remembered to congratulate us inspite of their busy schedule.

The cafe is completely student run and is a preparation for what they are going to experience when work in a fine dining restaurant.  The  students an eager bunch, Shankari demoed the recipes and had time to do this only on Presidents day which was a school holiday, but that didn’t stop the students or chefs from coming to class.  Their dedication speaks in the quality of food they put on the table. They surely love what they are doing and every dish speaks to you.

Reservations are needed as there is limited seating and these get filled up really fast. Our friend Mel has prepared the menu for the week of March 3rd featuring Traditional Jewish cooking.  Please make sure you call ahead and make reservations.

Thanks once again to all you @ Oak cafe who made it a memorable day for us, our desserts came with a surprise inscription, I was told feel free to tour the kitchen and take all the pictures you want. We still haven’t stopped speaking about it.

This past weekend we were at the Fancy Food show cruising our way through myriads of vendor booths and a sea of people. What struck us as soon as we passed through a few booths was how the vendors looked at your badge and decided in a split of a second whether to give you 1 second or 30 seconds of their time. Our badge said CAT- short for catering and it confused the heck out of most vendors.

The food show was in both halls of the Moscone center, North and South. One focused on the big players like Ghiradelli, Republic of Tea and Walkers. On the other side were more mom and pop type businesses and mid level food companies. We enjoyed the latter more. Some of the eye catching ones was coffee in a pill; the lady who ran the booth was passionate about what she soldJ. We have some samples of it, which we should try one of these days.  We like to hold a warm cup and sip our coffee and tea for now while savoring the aromas. Talking of teas, a whole post is coming soon. The recurring flavor was ginger tea. Our favorites were Numi and teatulia.

Some of the displays were fancy like one below with the colorful puppets from Indonesia, and there was a real Scot in his traditional kilt giving out samples of fine scotch.

Chocolates – there was every flavor imaginable, bacon, ginger, chilli, citrus and even lavender blueberry dark chocolate by Dagoba- their catch phrase is , “You can deprive the body, but the soul needs chocolate” Ah, that will be our excuse from now on. Another chocolate company was Rogue Confectioners; they had handmade Belgian chocolates with vintage inspired patterns on them. We have not tasted them yet, as we have to take pictures first.

Some of the other catchy companies were a booth selling fartless bean soup kits, a Cajun pepper sauce called Slap ya mamma by Walker and Sons, an anti hangover drink that is effective in 30-45 minutes from France, a Korean sweet and spicy sauce in a tube..The list is endless. It seemed as though every vendor had a gimmick up his sleeve that made them look unique and it felt like they were all in a food pagent, if you can call it that.

The mantra this year was this is good for you, it is gluten free, there are preservatives etc. A whole lot of spice and spice packaging companies were present. We particularly enjoyed chilies shaped like stars and saffron strand like chilies. Talking of spices, reminds us of the various salts we had. One company that stuck out was secret stash seas salts. Their garam masala sea salt was out of the world. Marinate your chicken or paneer in it and grill for a flavorful grilled chicken. What about pineapple cumin salt, dang we want those babies now J

Honest Teas, Kombucha seemed like we were drinking vinegar, but for sure it is going to be the rage @ Natural food stores. Hotlips Soda on the other hand was refreshing. It is slightly carbonated, not very sweet and has flavors like raspberry and apple. They are made the traditional way, cooked, bottled and pasteurized. Our immediate reaction when one take’s a sip is that it is not too sweet; they seem to add just the right amount of cane sugar and more fruits.

When we were finished, we enjoyed being in food coma, our feet hurt and shoulders sore with carrying bag load of samples. Will we do this again next year, no question about it. Just so know, we were not “bribed” to mention about any of these companies. We write about what we savored and the few samples we picked up. There were too many booths to cover each and every one of them, but there is always next year.

Surprise was meeting Tyler Florence who was promoting his products.