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Our Journey to Parenthood

September 15, 2010 by shankari  
Filed under Blog

Where should we start? When rice was showered on us while we were tying the knot and blessed to bring grand children to our parent’s lives? Or when I was about 12 years old and read a story on adoption and the only thing I wanted to do when I grow up was to adopt? We become mommies to our little cousins at our 3 day weddings when aunts would happily hand over the little ones to us the younger cousins who loved playing house house.

Questions started popping here and there about when we plan on having a child. While we can plan our lives, things take its own sweet time and the journey to parenthood taught us lessons that we may have never learned if the journey was a smooth one, for that we are grateful. It made us stronger a couple, and to respond as a team when inquisitive minds wanted answers. We realized that the only thing important to us was to be parents and it did not matter if it was biological or adopted. When we thought of adoption, just like anybody out there, we had various misconceptions that scared us away from it until we met our dear friend Ann. How we found Ann is a whole different story. Ann explained to us the whole concept on open adoption. A lot of our friends encouraged us to go to India, but our minds were set on adopting locally. Just the thought of a mother going through pregnancy  and planning on placing her child in a good home, means she cares, and is making a selfless decision in the best interest of her baby vs  a baby being left in the door steps of an orphanage.

We researched on various agencies, read more about open adoption and finally chose one agency. The paperwork takes a while, but the desire to be parents makes all that a piece of cake. The one challenge is to write a letter to prospective birth mom’s who will read our letter to know more about whom we are and our family. How do you toot your own horns on what great parents we will be and talk about lives, our family in 3-4 pages in addition to pictures of us with friends and family ?We were told that that they had consultants to do that as well. Really? Once the letter is done, finger printing and the whole nine yards , we are then in the “officially waiting stage”. This is the most trying time in our opinion. Everyone with the best of intention asks if we heard anything or how long it will take and we have no answers but to educate our friends and family the process. A birth mother when pregnant may either call our agency or read our letter on the agency website and then make a choice. She has the choice to contact myriads of agencies, read profiles before she makes up her mind- it is a family for life that she is choosing for her baby.  So while we wait, we begin to wonder if our letter is done well, why does no one like us and so on & so forth. The key at these times is for one of us to help the other snap out of it. It is very trying, and this is the time for one to start looking for ways to keep you occupied.  You do not want to shy away from asking friends and family for support.

When we got the call, we were filled with joy, hoping we will be the chosen one. We watched Ashwin being born and started feeding him, changing diapers and caring for him right away. The entire wait was so worth it. We found a beautiful family and a wonderful selfless mother & father who helped us begin our journey. Our family is complete, our life dream is fulfilled and we will now work on making Ashwin’s dreams come true. To all of you who showered us with positive thoughts during trying times, to those who emailed/called and sent care packages when we felt low, our heartfelt Thanks. Families’ being there for us is expected, but the love we have received from the blog world cannot be expressed.  Our next post is about the lovely baby shower to welcome Ashwin into our lives.

Comments

43 Responses to “Our Journey to Parenthood”
  1. Nandita says:

    I was hoping you would post about this soon and you did. I feel immense happiness that you found fulfillment with Baby Ashwin. A big hug to you.

  2. Cyndi says:

    I am so very happy for your family! More than you could even know

  3. Sunita says:

    Congrats once again, dear Shankari for having Ashwin in your lives; he is one lucky guy, for isn’t he going to be showered with so much love! Hugs to him an to you too- the future can only get better now.

  4. sig says:

    Congrats again Shankari! I am so happy for you! I am sure Ashwin is worth the wait…

  5. musical says:

    Congratulations and lots of love to the wonderful family! Love finds its way to our hearts, no matter how, no matter what! I am beyond happy that you+R and baby Ashwin found each other.

    hugs!

  6. Srivalli says:

    Congrats Shankari, that was wonderful to know..Lots of love to baby Ashwin!.

  7. Sra says:

    Lovely post! Congrats and best of luck.

  8. Victoria Brush says:

    Ashwin seems to have been meant to have you as parents; he is so comfortable is your and Raj’s arms. And it’s so amazing that you were able to be present at his birth. Will you be staying in touch with his birth mother at all?

  9. Nupur says:

    Congratulations and celebrations! Welcome to the world, baby Ashwin. Wishing you two new parents and baby all the happiness in the world.

  10. indosungod says:

    Congratulations dear Shankari.

    I have heard of the process from a relative of ours and I know how daunting a task that must have been. Best of Luck and Wishes to you, Rajesh and little Ashwin.

  11. Happy Cook says:

    Congrats again. I am so happy you have Aswin he is so so sweet. Just looking to the pic of both of you make me well up inside of joy .

  12. Rajitha says:

    That is a beautiful post and i am happy that Ashwin is there in your lives and both of you in his. Open adoption is challenging but i feel shows the love and openness of the parents on both sides who put the child’s happniess and best interest first.
    Have a blast :)

  13. niv mani says:

    Best wishes to the both of you & Ashwin, He’s blessed to have such a set of wonderful caring parents!

  14. shilpa says:

    Congratulations again Shankari. So happy for you. Hugs to you all

  15. Lakshmi Santosh says:

    A very hearty congratulations to both of you and a big hug to Baby Ashwin.

  16. Vani says:

    Congrats, Shankari, Rajesh and baby Ashwin! So happy you found each other. God bless and happy parenting!

  17. Dhana says:

    Sankari I could not be happier for you! Please feel free to email/call anytime you want to talk !

  18. Laksh says:

    I checked yesterday to see if you had a post out and here it is today. Can’t be happier for you Shankari! Hugs to little Ashwin. Hope to be able to meet you and your family some day.

    Love and Hugs,
    Laksh

  19. A-kay says:

    Congrats Shankari. I am so happy to read this, was hoping you would post on this. Such a touching story, so well written! Hugs to you and the little one. God Bless!

  20. DK says:

    Dear Shankari,

    As I already mentioned in the mails – everything happens for a reason and looking at that picture perfect snap, it couldn’t have been more obvious. The way little Ashwin is looking at his mother and the mom him speaks volumes. The satisfaction and pride between both of you is simply infectious and me – like many others here am sure- are affected by it too – our tearful eyes prove it :)

    Hugs to this beautiful family
    DK

  21. Veggie Belly says:

    What a beautiful journey, Shankari. God bless you all.

  22. Cynthe says:

    Shankari & Raj ~ You already know what a fan I am of parenthood, families, friendship, both of you, and baby Ashwin. THRILLED ~ truly ~ to be witness to this miracle of his arrival in your lives.

    Really interesting, too, as a young child, Shankari, you had a sense that adoption would be important in your future. Those invisible threads of wisdom shape our experiences in fascinating ways.

    GORGEOUS photo Rajesh! Captures the devotion & love these wee ones bring with them.

    ~ Cynthe

  23. Samar Kanguri says:

    Amazing to read your posting Shankari, really heart-warming. Lots of the happiness which the little one brings into your lives, Many congratulations.

  24. bee and jai says:

    gorgeous baby, gorgeous mom and dad. perfect family. congrats, shankari and rajesh. lucky little baby.

  25. Raaga says:

    It is really heartwarming to read this.

  26. revathi says:

    What a beautiful post ! It just brings tears to my eyes reading this. Its indeed very emotional process.

    Good luck to you guys and wishing the best for you

  27. Karthika says:

    Congratulations Shankari. Ashwin is one lucky guy. My prayers and wishes are with you as you begin your parenthood. Good Luck and Take care.

  28. Cham says:

    Congrats Shankari! God bless u and the little Ashwin.

  29. Melly says:

    Oh my god…that is the most beautiful photo. So loving. Great job Raj!

    I knew your story..but I never, ever tire of hearing it. Much love to you all.

    Mel

  30. mallugirl says:

    COngrats Shankari. GOd Bless you with all the happiness of raising a child.

  31. Asha says:

    Congratulations!! Looks like he is already into you, that little guy! :)

    He is precious and enjoy him to the fullest. I am sure you and R will be great parents. Hugs to you and a big welcome to the mommyhood and daddyhood.

  32. Roslyn says:

    Hey Shankari, Beautiful post….it has brought me to tears. It has been a long journey but through it all you have been a great inspiration to many ! You deserve nothing but the very best !!! Congratulations to you and Rajesh again…..God bless your beautiful family.

  33. Inji Pennu says:

    Love you!!

    Please do write about open adoption, your agency etc, for more people out there who are in the same process.

  34. Radhika says:

    I just can’t stop tearing ofcourse out of happiness…You both will be great parents. Blessing and love to Ashwin.

  35. Ann says:

    I just read this and am so glad if I was able to help in some way in your journey. We are especially thrilled for you because we know how hard it is to wait and then to find the most perfect match. Ashwin is so lucky to have found you!

  36. Kum says:

    Congratulations!

    Lovely post.

    Ashwin is so lucky to have you.

  37. Manju says:

    Beautiful story…I am very happy for both of you! Wish you both and baby Ashwin all the very best!

  38. Kayal says:

    Dear Shankari:

    I am very happy for you and hugs to the little one. Warm regards to Rajesh.

    Cheers!
    Kayal

  39. Suganya says:

    I am just back from a long vacation and was pleased to see this news awaiting me. My best wishes to you and Rajesh. Can’t wait to see more of baby Ashwin.

  40. Kay says:

    Awwwww! Shankari! :) Congratulations!!! So happy you and your child found your way to each other!

  41. Ramya says:

    Shankari,
    Congratulations!!! I’m ssooooo happy for you..(scolding myslef why I didnt visit you blog for so long..)..Again, hearty congratulations to the little family. May you all be showered with choicest blessings. I’m delurking now and have visited your blog many times. Happy parenting !

  42. Ani says:

    Congratulations and my best wishes on this journey.

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