Our Journey to Parenthood
Where should we start? When rice was showered on us while we were tying the knot and blessed to bring grand children to our parent’s lives? Or when I was about 12 years old and read a story on adoption and the only thing I wanted to do when I grow up was to adopt? We become mommies to our little cousins at our 3 day weddings when aunts would happily hand over the little ones to us the younger cousins who loved playing house house.
Questions started popping here and there about when we plan on having a child. While we can plan our lives, things take its own sweet time and the journey to parenthood taught us lessons that we may have never learned if the journey was a smooth one, for that we are grateful. It made us stronger a couple, and to respond as a team when inquisitive minds wanted answers. We realized that the only thing important to us was to be parents and it did not matter if it was biological or adopted. When we thought of adoption, just like anybody out there, we had various misconceptions that scared us away from it until we met our dear friend Ann. How we found Ann is a whole different story. Ann explained to us the whole concept on open adoption. A lot of our friends encouraged us to go to India, but our minds were set on adopting locally. Just the thought of a mother going through pregnancy and planning on placing her child in a good home, means she cares, and is making a selfless decision in the best interest of her baby vs a baby being left in the door steps of an orphanage.
We researched on various agencies, read more about open adoption and finally chose one agency. The paperwork takes a while, but the desire to be parents makes all that a piece of cake. The one challenge is to write a letter to prospective birth mom’s who will read our letter to know more about whom we are and our family. How do you toot your own horns on what great parents we will be and talk about lives, our family in 3-4 pages in addition to pictures of us with friends and family ?We were told that that they had consultants to do that as well. Really? Once the letter is done, finger printing and the whole nine yards , we are then in the “officially waiting stage”. This is the most trying time in our opinion. Everyone with the best of intention asks if we heard anything or how long it will take and we have no answers but to educate our friends and family the process. A birth mother when pregnant may either call our agency or read our letter on the agency website and then make a choice. She has the choice to contact myriads of agencies, read profiles before she makes up her mind- it is a family for life that she is choosing for her baby. So while we wait, we begin to wonder if our letter is done well, why does no one like us and so on & so forth. The key at these times is for one of us to help the other snap out of it. It is very trying, and this is the time for one to start looking for ways to keep you occupied. You do not want to shy away from asking friends and family for support.
When we got the call, we were filled with joy, hoping we will be the chosen one. We watched Ashwin being born and started feeding him, changing diapers and caring for him right away. The entire wait was so worth it. We found a beautiful family and a wonderful selfless mother & father who helped us begin our journey. Our family is complete, our life dream is fulfilled and we will now work on making Ashwin’s dreams come true. To all of you who showered us with positive thoughts during trying times, to those who emailed/called and sent care packages when we felt low, our heartfelt Thanks. Families’ being there for us is expected, but the love we have received from the blog world cannot be expressed. Our next post is about the lovely baby shower to welcome Ashwin into our lives.